Perception

Everyone thinks he knows what is real. You experience something and you are certain that things are how you perceive them. Sometimes they are. But mostly they are not.

In most cases not everything is clear. Most things, situations, events can have various meanings depending on how you look at them. When you perceive something, you interpret it. And this can vary from person to person.

I was talking to two girls once. The talk was focust on one of the girls. And suddenly the other remarked that i'm fawning over the first one. The first girl glanced at her and sad "Fawning? He's doing me down the whole time!"

They both heard the same words, saw the same reactions but came to entirely different conclusions. They both had certain expectations how other people would act in general and i in this special occasion.

The first girl was a little insecure about herself. So she thought what i said was not so nice. The other one was a little jealous about the attention i think. So she thought i was fawning over the first one.

Everyone has his/her own little representation of the world in the head. And usually we try to fit the things we experience into this representation. Which can lead to totally different interpretations.

I think we should try to find out and pay a little attention to what the other one might have perceived. Maybe we can understand each other better avoid some conflicts. 

...and Idiots

Last time i wrote about being generous. But i think many people say being generous means someone is taking advantage of you.

I'll admit that there is a possibility that this happens. And i'll admit that there is a fine line between being generous and being an idiot. So how can you distinguish being generous from being an idiot?

Let me tell you two stories:
One time in the PC-rooms a woman came to me and handed me some handwritten papers. She asked me, if i could type them on the computer for her. I turned her down.

Another woman asked me if could help her with MS Word. She had some papers with asignments for the ECDL Advanced. The papers were filled with handwriten notes. I tried to help her as much as i could.

What was the difference?
The first woman was in my eyes simply to lazy to write the stuff herself.
With the other woman i saw that she had occupied herself with the stuff. She simply came to the point where she had some questions she didn't find answers to. So she came to me for help. And i had no problems to help her search for answers.

I guess thats the difference. If you help someone who says "I don't want to do it, you do it" you're an idiot. If you help someone, who has tried to solve a problem himself and failed, even if you don't have to, you are being generous.

Please take into account that this is only valid, if someone asks for your help.