Generosity...

One day when i was working at the university a girl came to me. She was very nervous. She told me, she had a test in half an hour and needed to print out some page for it but had forgotten her copycard and if i could help her.

Since i know these things are the last you need before a test i gave her my copycard. She printed her pages, thanked me and off she went.

Two hours later. I had completely forgotten about her. Suddenly she stands beside me. "My test went alright. Thank you" and handed me some chocolat.

Neither of us was bound to do what we did. But doing it made her life a lot easier and me really glad. By being generous, we both received a lot more than what we gave each other.

I also hope that i find someone who will help me if i need it. Make the world a better place. Bit by bit.

Apologies?

Last time i told about my colleague who was not so friendly to a student.

But there was another interessting thing in this. Afterwards i told her, what i thought about their conversation (and especially her part). This was the main reason, why she felt remorseful afterwards.

But then she tried to make it up... with me. It wasn't that she tried to appologise to the student. She tried to win my approval again. She tried to engage me in conversation, was overly friendly and was very agreeable with what i said.

I guess she thought us to be equals till then. But then she thought she had lost her face in my eyes. So she tried to win me over again and gain some respect back.

I guess she felt a little ashamed about how she threated the student and so she didn't talk to her again. At least not that i know.

Be nice

I noticed something again today while working in the PC-rooms. I try to be nice to the people. Sometimes it's hard, but i usually am.

If you are friendly to the people, treat them with respect and help them with their problems they are grateful. Often they leave with a smile on their face which makes me feel better.

Today my colleague was a little stressed out. Then a very shy student, who had no practice with computers at all, came and asked her something. My colleague had seen her before last week and had given her a quick introduction in websearching. My colleague gave an answer in a not-so-nice tone and mentioned that she had told her that last week.

She was a little remorseful about her answer afterwards. The student came back a little later. Now she was even unsure if she should ask me.

How you treat people is a feedback system. If you are nice to them, they feel better and are friendly to you, which makes you feel better and so on.
The same thing goes in the opposite direction.

Being snappish didn't make my colleague feel better, quite the opposite, and it made the student even more unsure of herself.

So treat others nicely, especially when you're in an unpleasent mood, and they will ultimately reward you by being nice to you. Which will make you feel better and take you out of your sorry mood.

Just kidding (right?)

A few days ago i asked someone about what he thought would be cool features for a program. His first answer was some supposedly crazy stuff. It was obvious that he was joking. Afterwards he added some things that are quite common. This was what he was serious about.

I added his later answer into my considerations about the program. I had a concept about this program which i threw overboard yesterday. I wasn't satisfied. I wanted something new. And then i remembered his jokes. And suddenly i thought "Hey, that would be cool, if i used that".

His first suggestion was something not everyone would have approved of. It was unconventional. So he packed that what he thought would be fun into a joke. If i thought it was ridiculous he could still say it was a joke. He stated his oppinion but he could still withdraw it without losing his face if it wasn't accepted. Afterwards he told something common and widely accepted. But that was more a formality.

Pay attention if you ask someone about his oppinion. If he answers first with a joke and then with a serious answer, don't discard the joke completely. The serious answer might be what he wants you to think his opinion is. But the joke represents what he secretly wishes.

(In medieval times the jester was often the only person on a court who could tell the king that he had done something stupid)

Lose some, win some

There's a psychological prinziple. People are trying harder to avoid losing something than gaining something. Which makes sense in an evolutionary perspective.

Imagine a monkey who has at the same time the opportunity to grab a banana and to run away from a tiger. If he grabs the banana he won't be happy about it for long. For he'll be a snack himself for the tiger. On the other hand if he flees he might live a little longer to enjoy another banana later.

From this point of view it's understandable that people try harder to avoid something negative than to gain something positive. I think everyone has experienced a situation where (s)he wanted to do something but was afraid of the consequences. And therefore didn't do it.

For example the question: "Should i go over to this girl and talk to her. She might become my girlfriend. On the other hand i might get humiliated."
Which man hasn't experienced this situation?
And how often did you chicken out?
See...?

Why am i writing this. Some days ago i offered a female friend of mine some sweets. I repeatedly told her to take some. She refused. I took it away saying "Ok, if you don't want them...". But then i offered them to her once more. Mainly to mock her. But this time she took it.

When it was first offered to her there was no emotion attached to the whole thing (except maybe about her weight). But as soon as i took it away there was this feeling of loss. Which she tried to compensate by taking the sweet.

So if you want to make someone want something give this person the feeling that (s)he lost it. Offer it again and it will be gladly taken.

Getting used to (perfume)

Actually i wanted to write about something else today. But due to "current occasions" i decided to change the subject a little.

I'm at work at the PC-rooms at my university and a girl just walked in (no, that's not the remarkable thing, that happens quite a lot). But as soon as she entered the room, it was flooded with the scent of her perfume.

It's not the first time a notice this with a girl. Don't get me wrong. I like the smell of a nice perfume. But i'm starting to realize, that it is very common among girls.

The problem is that many girls use the same cologne continuously for many years. But one of the most amazing things of the human brain is it's ability to adapt. Especially to things that are persistent over a long time. So it happens that the brain gets used to the smell of the perfume. And it cancles out the sensing of it. To still sense it the brain need a higher dosage for the same stimulus. Hence more perfume ist needed (for her) to get the same effect.

So, here's my tip for all the girls out there: two drops of perfume are perfectly enough, three at the most. Thats one spritz if you use an atomizer (If you think you need more, take a shower beforhand ;)

New Year's depression anyone?

I know it's not a good idea, to start a blog with something (supposedly) sad. But since when do i care. And to be honest, it's just as sad as you make it. But this is, what this post is going to be about.

Two days ago was New Year's Eve. I spent it at home. Alone. And I know what most people would think now "Ow, that must be sad and depressing". But to be honest it wasn't.
What did i do? Well, nothing out of the ordinary. Read something. Watched a movie. Played on my computer. Same stuff like any other evening. I didn't even notice the firecrackers. Anything than spending so much as a thought on New Year. And i didn't feel sad at all.
"But no party?" I hear some of you say. Well, i've been at a concert the night before, thank you very much.

You know, these days like Xmas, New Year etc. only get depressing if you compare yourself to other people and think "How much must they have". I think if you don't spend any thought on these things, you can go through them like any other day.

I've been at home on New Year's Eve once before. Did the same thing as two days ago. It only got depressing when somebody mentioned it to me.

So if you can't help it, whatever the reason might be, don't spend a second thought about it. Don't let yourself get botherd at all. Don't worry, be happy.

Ok, tomorrow there will be something a little more friendly.

Another Blog...

So what's it gonna be? I like blogs that describe in a few sentences what the are about. Or will be about.

I am interessted in psychology. I read a lot about the human mind, how it works and what happens if it doesn't work (whatever the reason might be). And since all theory is grey, i love observing people how they behave and what they might think. This doesn't exclude myself. And since oberserving is still only half of the way i try to influence people from time to time (if you prefer the term manipulate, fine with me).

So in this blog i'll write down my experiences and thoughts about what (stupid things) people do. Since i still go to the university and have two jobs where i meet lots of people (and i'm a little weird myself (...who isn't)) i don't think this blog will die because of lack of material.

Stay tuned. I think you'll find yourself in here some time in the future.